Yesterday marked Dawson being 4 weeks old, as well as his first real smile. While the transition of having another child in the house has been relatively bump free it has not been without bumps. Sadly I had to make the very adult decision to send our dog Diego to live elsewhere. Not to far really just gone to live with my husband. I love Diego but between both kids he was not getting the time or attention he deserved. Is he gone for good? At this point I am not to sure. All I know is I have made the best decision for him.
As I spend more time separated I have found a strange thing happening. My motivation and energy has returned. My house is cleaner than it has been in over a year. Far from immaculate but at least to the point I would not feel ashamed to have guests, and at least that's a start. My next step will be cleaning of the psyche so to speak, as I intend to get into some counselling for myself. I realize as much support as I have been fortunate enough to have no one can really help me unless I want to help myself, counselling will be the start of that. I am such a proud person it has been hard to accept anyones help, still trying to work towards the actual acceptance. More often than not my days are good and I am looking forward to those lonely sad days disappearing all together, baby steps I guess... Well my thoughts are jumbled but this is what's been on my mind lately.
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3 comments:
I found that same thing after I split from my X, Tanya. I could see the proverbial forest and as terrifying and empty as I felt, I was also uplifted and almost excited by the challenge. (((((((Tanya)))))))
Hopefully soon I'll have a rbeak in ym scheudle to come and see Dawson.
You are a beacon of light in the darkness Tanya. You are strong and mighty and deserving of finding the right life for you.
I have real trouble asking for help too so I can't help with any advice there. Just know that there are many people out here who support you.
I can't believe that Dawson is already 4 weeks old. Time has flown by. How's big B doing with is little brother?
Thank you for believing in me girls. You have no idea the how much your ongoing support has helped me.
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