This year is my son Brandon's second year of kindergarten. I always feel as though I need to follow that statement by the statement he never failed kindergarten last year. Academically he has always thrived but maturity wise he struggled last year. He was one of the youngest kids in his class and his maturity showed that. So rather than have him struggle in grade one because he wasn't ready for full days at school we chose to hold him back. I can honestly say it was the best decision I made as I have seen so much improvement.
This past Friday report cards came out and I was thrilled with what I saw. Academically everything was excellent and socially everything was good or excellent. I knew he was doing well this year as I have not had any notes home or had the teacher pull me off to the side to discuss him melting down (a common occurance last year). Home reading has been a breeze and he is able to recognize most words himself and I don't struggle to get him to focus. Than came the parent teacher interview yesterday and hearing the results there I am beyond proud. My son is a leader in his class and the teacher finds it a huge help because he let's the other kids know what is happening or going to happen. I could see his teacher swelling with pride as she told me.
We live in Millwoods and my son's school has a Punjab program. So it is not uncommon for children new to the country from India to be enrolled there. My son has great speech and because of that many of the kids who don't know much english yet have been placed at his table and he helps them. Excuse me while my heart bursts with pride here. I hope he never loses the want to help and to be a leader, the ability to accept without judgement. These are skills that will take him far in life.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Saturday, November 12, 2011
One part of the journey
I felt it was time I start blogging again. For those who have been with me all along you already know my story and this will be redundant.
I used to be that girl. The one that dreamt of white picket fences and happily ever after. But truth be told I never really knew a healthy relationship. I grew up in a home with parents who stayed together for the kids who both struggled with their own emotional problems and the by product of their frustration with one another rained down on my brother and I. Growing up like that I swore to myself I would never wind up with someone like that.
In my early twenties I met a man the one who I thought was the one. A friend first and eventually more. He said such nice things about me and at times was so wonderful. So what if sometimes he lost his temper and punched holes in walls or threw things. He was going through a lot and I was going to be his safe spot. He didn't like some of my friends and as well I grew apart with other friends. That's life right?
We eventually got engaged. I should of been happy but instead it was just another thing to mark of the relationship list. We had a child but for a long time I held off on getting married. It just didn't seem important but for whatever reason eventually I decided it was time. So we married. It was a hot day and awkward and the pictures showed it. 2 month's after that the man I love strangled me.
My world came crashing down. I did what I could to stand by my man and didn't leave. I was NOT going to be a statistic. Our second child was conceived during that time. The incidences of abuse escalated and came to a head on the evening before my 29th birthday but that is a story for another day.
Even with all that I was still a dumb puppy that would not leave. Than my Mother died. My husband started spending a lot of time with another woman and would come home raving about her but swore she was just a friend. Who was I other than his fat, pregnant, depressed wife? The fighting was non-stop and he would constantly threaten to leave. One day I said please do and so he did. He moved right into that woman's home and a war ensued. Once their relationship ended we were able to get along and while we will never be friends we can get along we can spend hours together in a friendly way. All that stand between our divorce now is money to finalize it. My children will reap the rewards of our friendly relationship and I am forever grateful that we got to this spot.
I finally started getting help and learned what my failed relationship was. I had a few failed relationships of my own. Not bad guys just not meant to be. So now here I am still most days feeling beautiful and broken. Love is for other people not for me. Sometimes I think I might want it but am happier to play the non-committal fleeting solitary doe. I crave connection but yet it scares me. Perhaps just another part of the journey to healing.
I am forever grateful for the lessons I have learned along the way and for the connections I have made. I may never be perfect and for once I am perfectly OK with that.
I heard Terri Clark sing this song at Capital Ex this summer and it really resonated with who I am now. So I leave you with this. Enjoy.
Grateful 3:
- Friends who accept me flaws and all.
- Great co-parenting relationships with my children's Fathers.
- My children are all healthy and thriving.
I used to be that girl. The one that dreamt of white picket fences and happily ever after. But truth be told I never really knew a healthy relationship. I grew up in a home with parents who stayed together for the kids who both struggled with their own emotional problems and the by product of their frustration with one another rained down on my brother and I. Growing up like that I swore to myself I would never wind up with someone like that.
In my early twenties I met a man the one who I thought was the one. A friend first and eventually more. He said such nice things about me and at times was so wonderful. So what if sometimes he lost his temper and punched holes in walls or threw things. He was going through a lot and I was going to be his safe spot. He didn't like some of my friends and as well I grew apart with other friends. That's life right?
We eventually got engaged. I should of been happy but instead it was just another thing to mark of the relationship list. We had a child but for a long time I held off on getting married. It just didn't seem important but for whatever reason eventually I decided it was time. So we married. It was a hot day and awkward and the pictures showed it. 2 month's after that the man I love strangled me.
My world came crashing down. I did what I could to stand by my man and didn't leave. I was NOT going to be a statistic. Our second child was conceived during that time. The incidences of abuse escalated and came to a head on the evening before my 29th birthday but that is a story for another day.
Even with all that I was still a dumb puppy that would not leave. Than my Mother died. My husband started spending a lot of time with another woman and would come home raving about her but swore she was just a friend. Who was I other than his fat, pregnant, depressed wife? The fighting was non-stop and he would constantly threaten to leave. One day I said please do and so he did. He moved right into that woman's home and a war ensued. Once their relationship ended we were able to get along and while we will never be friends we can get along we can spend hours together in a friendly way. All that stand between our divorce now is money to finalize it. My children will reap the rewards of our friendly relationship and I am forever grateful that we got to this spot.
I finally started getting help and learned what my failed relationship was. I had a few failed relationships of my own. Not bad guys just not meant to be. So now here I am still most days feeling beautiful and broken. Love is for other people not for me. Sometimes I think I might want it but am happier to play the non-committal fleeting solitary doe. I crave connection but yet it scares me. Perhaps just another part of the journey to healing.
I am forever grateful for the lessons I have learned along the way and for the connections I have made. I may never be perfect and for once I am perfectly OK with that.
I heard Terri Clark sing this song at Capital Ex this summer and it really resonated with who I am now. So I leave you with this. Enjoy.
Grateful 3:
- Friends who accept me flaws and all.
- Great co-parenting relationships with my children's Fathers.
- My children are all healthy and thriving.
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