Happy Happy Happy

I am at such a great place in my life right now. I can truly say I am happier than I have been in years and that is not just the anti-depressants talking. I can finally say I am at the point where I no longer love my husband at all. One would have thought with all he put me through that not loving him would be easy but that for me was a big hurdle to cross. With the love gone I can truly say should he try to weasel his way back into my life I will be strong enough to say no. That is a relief. Parenting my boys alone is so easy, who knew it would be so good without criticism. I am getting better at standing up to my husbands abusive behavior and no longer letting it effect me the way it once did.

Now that I have reconnected with my Father we have become quite close and I can honestly say he has been my biggest cheerleader. We talk several times a day. Him without addictions is very refreshing, he is not the person I knew growing up.

My next big hurdle will be the divorce. Whether we go amicably through mediation or to court remains to be seen. Whatever happens I am willing to fight for my rights.

I feel beautiful, free, and full of hope. I think I will soon be able to date again and I think that is a huge step. However I will pay more attention to red flags in future relationships. Now that I have found myself I don't want to be lost again.

My Weight Loss Journey

Although I still mourn the death of my marriage since the separation I have seen healthy changes in my self. I no longer need to self medicate or fill voids with food. That combined with breastfeeding has brought on significant weight loss for me. Pre-pregnancy I had reached an all time high of size 20, now I am down to about a 14-16. My goal size would be a 10 but I would be happy with a size 12.


July 28, 2007 Size 18 Photo courtesy of Smiley Eyes Photography


January 18, 2009 Size 14-16

New Address

Yes I have a new blog address yet again. My husband has been stalking me online. He reads every single comment here and than attacks me about it. I can't understand why if he has moved on he needs to stalk me.

More To Me Than You

My soul and heart are still beautiful and strong. I may be bruised but I will never be broken