Reconnecting

For some readers this will already be old news but I thought I would share anyways. Last night I went for dinner with my Father. No serious conversations but it wasn't awful either. Other than my Mom's funeral it is the first time we have seen each other in several years. He is clean and sober now. I'm happy my kids will be able to get to know him.

Our Little Tree

Setting up the big tree and keeping it decorated was such a nightmare last year that I thought for now we would opt for something smaller. Here's a tree I got from the Edmonton earthcycle group, topped off with a star from the dollar store.

Why I Go On

The best photo from a spur of the moment shoot starring my boys. My reason for being.

Favorite Moments From 2008 AMA's

Last night the wonderful Annie Lennox performed Why on the American Music Awards. Definitely not a new song but still very relevant, the song spoke to me in a strong way. Unfortunately I could not find that exact performance so instead I will share her singing the song at another event.



Another notable performance from the awards was a duet of Sarah McLachlan & Pink singing Sarah's song Angel. Their beautiful strong voices compliment each other perfectly, it is always nice to see strong artists work together.

November 22, 2008

Yesterday marked Dawson being 4 weeks old, as well as his first real smile. While the transition of having another child in the house has been relatively bump free it has not been without bumps. Sadly I had to make the very adult decision to send our dog Diego to live elsewhere. Not to far really just gone to live with my husband. I love Diego but between both kids he was not getting the time or attention he deserved. Is he gone for good? At this point I am not to sure. All I know is I have made the best decision for him.

As I spend more time separated I have found a strange thing happening. My motivation and energy has returned. My house is cleaner than it has been in over a year. Far from immaculate but at least to the point I would not feel ashamed to have guests, and at least that's a start. My next step will be cleaning of the psyche so to speak, as I intend to get into some counselling for myself. I realize as much support as I have been fortunate enough to have no one can really help me unless I want to help myself, counselling will be the start of that. I am such a proud person it has been hard to accept anyones help, still trying to work towards the actual acceptance. More often than not my days are good and I am looking forward to those lonely sad days disappearing all together, baby steps I guess... Well my thoughts are jumbled but this is what's been on my mind lately.

Daily Prayer Of Acceptance

Found this on a facebook friend's profile and thought it was worth sharing.

I accept myself completely.
I accept my strengths and my weakenesses, my gifts and my shortcomings.
I accept myself completely as a human being.
I accept that I am here to grow, and I accept that I am learning and growing.
I accept my personality I've developed, and I accept my power to heal and change.

I accept myself without condition or reservation.
I accept that the core of my being is goodness and that my essence is love, and
I accept that I sometimes forget that.

I accept myself completely, and in this acceptance
I find an ever-deepening inner strength.
From this place of strength,
I accept my life fully and I am open to the lessons it offers me each day.

I accept that within my mind are both fear and love, and
I accept my power to choose which I will experience as real.
I recognize that I experience only the results of my own choices.
I accept the time that I choose fear as part of my learning and healing process, and
I accept that I have the potential and power in any moment to choose love instead.

I accept mistakes as a part of growth.
I am willing to forgive myself and give myself another chance.
I accept that my life is the expression of my thought, and I commit myself to aligning my thoughts more and more each day with the thought of love.
I accept that I am an expression if this love.
I am love's hands, voice and heart on Earth.

I accept my own life as a blessing and a gift.
My heart is open to receive, and I am deeply grateful.
May I always share the gifts that I receive fully, freely, and joyfully.
I accept all that I was, all that I am, and all that I choose to become.

Adjusting To Life With Two

Adjusting to life with two children has been alot easier than I expected. Actually overall everything about Dawson arriving has been easier. When Brandon was born I was in pain from the birth. Toss in baby blues and frustration and upset over our breastfeeding issues and it made for me being an absolute mess. Than came the colic... I was so glad when that passed. My experience with Dawson has been so different. With no ripping or bruising my recovery after the birth was almost instaneous, except for a few minor aches and pains I feel great. Breastfeeding Dawson has been a dream, it's been easy. This little guy is definitely a boob man. Yesterday we had him weighed and he is now at 8lbs 3oz, that is about 10oz above his birth weight! I am so pleased to know he is getting everything he needs right from me. Brandon has been a great big brother and has adjusted nicely to his new role. I feel very fortunate and blessed to have such wonderful little boys. Now if I could just figure out the time to get everything done I want to do in a day I will be set.

Dawson 12 days old