Playing

A few of the better shots from playing with my new toy.

I Need Room To Ride Wild Horses

I am absolutely enamored with these lovely young songstresses. Speaking as a blond I am happy to see true blondes that have not bleached their eyebrows to match. Some of us blondes are just born with darker eyebrows. These lyrics spoke to me... they really reminded me of how I tried to change to try to be the person my husband wanted me to be, eventually just losing myself all together. I will never ever let my spirit be overshadowed and broken like that again. Now I live my life for me, the minute I don't feel respected is the minute I run.



I Can Love Anyone

Maybe it was me,
But it just didn't feel like anyway to breathe
Being with him, underneath his thumb left a heavy print on me
All the things, that I tried to change to be the girl he needs
The quiet one, the chameleon
the saint, the anger, the house of fun

I need room to ride wild horses,
I wanna be free to fall from my own choices and
I can pretend, hide under my couch,
or cry 'till I turn blue,
I can love anyone, anyone I want to
I can love anyone, anyone I want to

Everywhere I go now,
It's just my shadow, following to close
I can hold on, I could walk or run, or I can just let go
If I drive, all night long,
no one needs to know
It's my debts, they're all my regrets
and the best part hasn't happened yet

I need room to ride wild horses,
I wanna be free to fall from my own choices and
I can pretend, hide under my couch,
or cry 'till I turn blue,
I can love anyone, anyone I want to,
I can love anyone, anyone I want to,

All the things, that I tried to change,
to be the girl he needs
the quiet one, the chameleon,
the saint, the anger, the house of fun

I need room to ride wild horses,
I wanna be free to fall from my own choices,
I can love anyone, anyone I want to,
I can love anyone, anyone I want to.

Strawberry Chip Muffins

Some muffins I made:



Strawberry chip muffins

1/4 cup canola oil
1/2 cup milk ( add a bit more for a moister mix)
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1 3/4 cups all purpose flour
1 cup chopped strawberrys (I like fresh but frozen is ok to)
1/4 cup white chocolate chips ( semisweet would be yummy to)

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) oil an 8 cup muffin tin, or use paper liners.
In a small bowl, combine oil, milk, and egg. Beat lightly. In a large bowl, mix flour, salt, baking powder, cinnamon, and sugar. Toss in chopped strawberries and stir to coat with flour. Pour in milk mixture and stir together. Add chocolate chips
Fill muffin cups. Bake at 375 degrees F (190 degrees C) for 25 minutes, or until the tops bounce back from the touch. Cool 10 minutes and remove from pans.

I have also tried this recipe by subbing half of the strawberries for banana's cut in to chunks, which turned out nice. Overall I think the batter would likely work for any fruit muffin. I like it because it's not to sweet.

Volunteering Is Fun

After a few days of downright dismal weather the kids and I were chomping at the bit to get outside. Yesterday offered the perfect opportunity, the sun was shining and even with the wind being outside was manageable. We ventured down to Whyte avenue to hang more posters for North Country Fair replenishing where posters had been covered and trying to find new places indoors to hang them as well. Brandon especially enjoyed it and became quite the little dictator demanding to go in every building we passed to hang a poster, and was quite disappointed when we couldn't LOL. I was starting to take it a little personal that the majority of my posters that had been covered were all obviously by the same person, some wrestling thing. Oh well covered up their poster with one of mine, tit for tat. :)

I have to say I was really impressed with his endurance. I can remember with my ex's daughter we couldn't even walk more than a few blocks without her becoming tired or complaining. Brandon is a completely different kid. We walked all the way up Whyte Avenue from Southpark GM down to Pad Thai, and than back down to the university where we caught the LRT to come home. Brandon did not complain once. Mind you I think the fact I had him wear his rainboots and allowed him to jump in every puddle we saw on the sidewalk probably helped in distracting him.

Right now I am hoping the weather continues to improve. Tommorrow is the Relay For Life, a fundraiser event for the Canadian Cancer Society. I encourage everyone to visit the site and learn about the relay and if you can make a pledge. If your in edmonton stop by the relay and cheer everyone on, I hear their still looking for volunteers for the event to... To experience the event is powerful and overwhelming but so worth it I really encourage anyone who can to visit, cheer, and give your support. Cancer has touched me close to home a few times through friends, family, and most closely through my father who is a survivor of liver cancer. Last year I walked in the relay with a group of wonderful women and we were able to raise over $5000 for the cause. This year I am honored to be a part of Team Clickin' Cancer's Butt, along with my friend Hope who has blogged about it and a group of talented women we will be photographing the relay. I am touched to be allowed to take part in this. While most of the team are very skilled photographers equipped with SLR camera's, I am still learning and will do my best with my point and shoot camera. I am very much looking forward to spending as much time as I can doing this tommorrow and if anything am disappointed I cannot stay the entire night to do it... however having my 7 month old with me, an overnight is just not in the cards.

Have a great weekend everyone and if any edmontonians make it to the relay tommorrow and you see me be sure to say hi!

Reflecting On Yesterday

I was quite bothered yesterday by some back and forth that happened between Mr (Not so) Wonderful and I. Playing the role of lover scorned he was attacking my character and insulting me. His main focus seemed to be on my appearance which seemed pretty silly given this is the body I was born with... He said that I should develop myself past my appearance (ok not in those exact words but I am nicing it up for the blog). At first I was really upset by this. Didn't he know I do have interests? Didn't he know what I am doing to work on myself? I was sure I talked about these sorts of things with him.

But than the thought dawned on me that he wasn't showing me what I hadn't already felt which was that he did not value me for anything but my appearance. To him I was just a nice package... He didn't care about the things I did or my hopes, or any of it.

A blog I wrote last night out of anger also taught me a lesson about myself. Note that blog has been deleted as I felt it made me no better than him and it didn't make me feel good knowing I was sharing it. Through an exercise from "Living Through The Meantime" By Iyanla Vanzant I learned a bit about how I engage when I am angry, and what I need to do to change that. I know that I can engage in emotionally abusive behaviors and that is not ok.

Intuition - Natalie Imbruglia

Fitting lyrics. I am learning to trust my intuition and know those feelings will never ever steer me wrong.

Yummy Mommy Sunday

A few friends have made the comment that they were shocked I decided to end my relationship with Mr. Wonderful. Saying you seemed so happy what happened? I think it is important to say Mr. Wonderful while in a way contributed to happiness to a point was not the cause of my happiness. I ALONE am in charge of whether or not I am happy. A million things might make me happier but for the most part it is my perception of things that will control that level of happiness. My answer to those friends has been I am still a happy person. I spent years in such a bad situation that perhaps that is why I am so easily able to accept whatever good things life does have to offer. I certainly have my stresses but they won't overshadow my happiness.

Yesterday I headed over to Whyte avenue with a friend. We chatted and walked down the avenue and I hung the odd poster here and there for North Country Fair . As a side note I am amazed how quickly the posters I had hung previously were covered up. I had just hung posters on Tuesday and by yesterday most posters were already covered and some with a few other posters. I try to cover old posters but unfortunately I guess others are not so polite.

We also stopped in at Julio's Barrio where we indulged in drinks, appetizers, and gossip. Her entering a relationship and me leaving one we both had some great and giggle worthy submissions. We ended up sitting at the bar because all the tables near the front were full and the back of the restaurant was unbearably hot. We both had a giggle at what appeared to be a hungover wannabe Don Juan. Doing his best to get our attention. Alternating between trying to look deep in thought and giving us sultry stares.

Perhaps my favorite yummy Mommy moment of the day was when I went to the bathroom. I was wearing a tank top, a short skirt, and leggings. I was so warm I decided to take off my leggings. So I returned to my seat just a bit less clothed. I caught a few very obvious stares OK more than a few stares from a guy sitting at a near by table. Yes I think Tanya has definitely gotten her groove back...