I was quite bothered yesterday by some back and forth that happened between Mr (Not so) Wonderful and I. Playing the role of lover scorned he was attacking my character and insulting me. His main focus seemed to be on my appearance which seemed pretty silly given this is the body I was born with... He said that I should develop myself past my appearance (ok not in those exact words but I am nicing it up for the blog). At first I was really upset by this. Didn't he know I do have interests? Didn't he know what I am doing to work on myself? I was sure I talked about these sorts of things with him.
But than the thought dawned on me that he wasn't showing me what I hadn't already felt which was that he did not value me for anything but my appearance. To him I was just a nice package... He didn't care about the things I did or my hopes, or any of it.
A blog I wrote last night out of anger also taught me a lesson about myself. Note that blog has been deleted as I felt it made me no better than him and it didn't make me feel good knowing I was sharing it. Through an exercise from "Living Through The Meantime" By Iyanla Vanzant I learned a bit about how I engage when I am angry, and what I need to do to change that. I know that I can engage in emotionally abusive behaviors and that is not ok.
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4 comments:
it happens, and then the sun rises again... hugs to you, keep on truckin'
i hope you're feeling better today,girl. i know those insensitive and tactless things said must have totally wreck your day. You a wonderful person and if he can't see that - it's really his problem. Not yours.
hugs-
~Silver
I wanna read the deleted blog
Awww that hurt you can't delete them can you.
Well whatever, Hoolios bario
Man
that place gets some serious action
so many people go there
He's a twit Tanya. You deserve better than a shallow, egotestical (yes I meant the misspelling) dirtbag like him.
You're hot plus you're sweet, talented, thoughtful and an overall great person.
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